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Freaky Friday - The Wallet Swap

Every comedy show gets to take a stab at their version of Freaky Friday. Well, now it's our turn because we still think we're funny. Here's Freaky Friday - The Wallet Swap, a true story inspired by Lil Dicky and Chris Brown.

The Setting

You're stumbling to find your Uber after a thirsty Thursday that lasted a little longer than planned. Out of the corner of your eye you see something shiny glistening in the road. You instantly recognize it as a penny and your new mission in life is to make sure that penny comes home with you to live its best life in your penny jar. At the exact moment you bend over to snatch that penny up, your hand brushes against the hand of someone you recognize. Unbeknownst to you both, the penny was cursed by an angry student loan collector. The next morning you wake up in a strange place. 

Chose Your Own Destiny: Warren or Beyonce

It was Warren Buffet's hand:

You wake up in a bit of a groggy haze at precisely 6:45 AM.  You have an odd craving for a coke and a McMuffic, but you're not quite sure why. As you muster the strength you need to get out of bed and stumble to the bathroom you think, "wow, that was my last night of drinking, I feel terrible". Then you look in the mirror and realize that you're Warren Buffet. 

Warren Buffet's lifestyle is well documented, and you have a rough day ahead of you, my friend. As you hop into your car to start your workday, you notice a couple of dollars in change in the cup holder. Yep, that's your breakfast budget for your $3 breakfast at McDonald's. From there, you're off to drink 5 cokes, do a bit of exercise, read at least 500 pages of books, and play some bridge. After a long day of not spending money, you retire to your home to bathe in your $84 billion dollar fortune, Scrooge McDuck style.

It was Beyonce's hand:

You wake up feeling the best you've ever felt at around 5:30 AM.  As you single lady your way to the bathroom you think, "wow, last night was fun. I could do that again". Then you look in the mirror and realize "damn. I woke up like this". 

You've got a pretty good day ahead of you. 

  • 6AM - Meditate
  • 7AM-9AM  - Cuddle time.
  • 9AM-11AM  - Noms. Brunch.
  • 11AM-12PM - I work out!
  • 12PM-3PM - Beer, Paint, and music time
  • 3PM-4PM -  Nap time, duh. 
  • 4PM-6PM - More noms. Maybe pizza today. 
  • 6PM-10PM -  More relaxing. Maybe on a boat.
  • 10PM-11PM - So tired. Better lie down on this mattress made out of 350 million bills stacked neatly in the shape of a mattress.

So, which wallet swap do you take? We're going to swap with Warren hands down, and for one very important reason. We can't sing or dance. That and because you have to remember the other side of the coin. While we've done okay using investing apps like Acorns, saving our pennies while we shop with Ibotta, and using the right rewards cards to make our vacations more affordable, Warren is the budgeting master. He even famously brought Bill Gates to lunch at McDonald's and used coupons. 

We don't have the skills to be Beyonce famous, or even Lil Dicky famous for that matter, but we all have the tools available to us to build wealth Buffet style. We'll keep on reaching for those street pennies hoping to get our wallet swap on, but until then, this is just a friendly reminder to live the best life that matches your paycheck.

Happy Friday.  And now, for today's inspiration: Probably NSFW.